The Last Week

Today is Wednesday. I leave next Monday (22nd August). They're having to work on Monday so Sunday is really our last day together.
The week is flying past far too quickly. The month I've been here hasn't flown by but as things like this always do, it has still gone quickly.
I don't want to go.
If it was at all possible to avoid doing so I would. But the decision isn't all about me and I have a flat I need to sell (not related to Frankie).
They started work this week so it's been hard. After spending all day with them for the best part of the month I now only get to see them in the Evenings. Before I got here they were working and that's how we thought it would be anyway but they lost their job a few days before I arrived and so it was a really a moot point.
I should be so much happier when they come home. But they're counting the days to the weekend. As it turns out (having now spoken to them), this is because they're looking forward to being able to spend a whole day with me and of course that's wonderful but I'd rather some perpetual weekday where I only see them in the evenings than have a "last day". They remind me I'm coming back and when I do it will be for even longer but (and I know I keep saying this) I just can't help focus on the being away part.

They spend a lot of time on Twitter but I try not to get upset by that. We met on twitter for fuck's sake. And it's important to them. Twitter isn't just something to do for them, it's part of their (self) therapy as well as promotion and raising awareness of mental health issues. There are other reasons too why it's important to them but I'm not willing to go into details. For this week they have said goodnight to the Tweeps early to spend time with me which I'm grateful for I really am. Yes, would be great to spend more time together, just because it's my last week if I'm being honest.

Spending a lot of time during the day crying.

I need to be happier for them when they come home. I don't want them to not look forward to it. I met them at work yesterday and that was great. I was a little hesitant (it's stupid but I did have a vision of them being pissed off, not 100% sure why) but glad I did. They seemed to have loved it. If it wasn't for a desperate lack of funds I'd meet them every day. Next time I come up, chores permitting *shakes head* (and I hope to be working here) I hope I can do so.

Every time I think of something nice, about the last few weeks and about coming back again I instantly get upset my thoughts of leaving. I can't help it. I don't know how to stop it.

Just to make it easier they're off to see ... can't remember his fucking nickname, the guy that some of them are in love with. Awesome. Again, he's their friend and there's nothing between them blah blah blah but you know, he lives here... I have to go home next week... *ouch*. It's only because this is such an emotional week. Sure he's on my list of future stabbing victims but on better days I'd have a lot less issue with it. Oh, even better, they're getting drunk before they go. Well I feel so much more at ease about it now.
Update (written before posting): They have gone to meet [special someone] (???). They didn't drink that much thankfully, but I have my suspicion "who" it is that has gone. If I'm right then I've already said I need to let her do this. The others call him a friend so for them I have to be ok about it too. I'll be gone for at least four to six weeks probably (as long as it takes me to get the money for a ticket again) but he'll still be here.

As it stands I haven't told them any of this. We've talked about bits of it but today they're very aware I'm not happy and I don't know what to say. It's not easy to talk to them when they're twittering. And today especially I'm not going to try and pull them off twitter.
I will post this but not yet. Certainly not before I've told them how I'm feeling. All I've done by putting this is writing is upset myself even more.

Am I being selfish? Probably. I wanted, needed, this week to be special. Of course I'm coming back and nothing will change that but I still wanted this to be a really happy week. Saturday will hopefully be a fantastic day but Sunday I don't know how it's going to be anything other than a tear filled day.

Update (written before posting): I did speak to them, vaguely about this. Don't feel like adding more to that.

Just for my own personal notes: Catherine has been here a lot, Frank I don't believe has, maybe a bit. Some others but not been able to tell.